Why You Should Make Failure Part of Your Plan: Achieve Success Through Failure
The other day, a conversation with a friend took an unexpected turn when she asked me if I was nervous about starting my own business. Without hesitation, I confidently replied, "No." Here’s why:
After over 10+ years of experience working for top consultancy firms, I felt ready for a new chapter — and there was no other option available in my mind than to start my own business.
I embarked on this journey because I wholeheartedly believe in my mission, vision, and purpose. By believing in both my business AND myself, I embraced failure as an integral part of my strategy.
What do you mean with failure?
Now don’t get me wrong… I'm not hoping for my business to fail. I'm extremely confident that my company can make (and is already making!) a significant impact through the work I do with individuals, leaders, professionals, and organizations.
Failure, in my opinion, isn't just about setbacks or mistakes; it's an essential part of life. It's those moments of stumbling that teach us resilience, changing perspectives, and motivates us to move forward. Embracing failure allows us to evolve, adapt, and discover new opportunities that we may not have otherwise seen.
Pause for a few seconds and ask yourself this question: How can your failures HELP YOU?
Does it strengthen your skills? Set aside your ego? Brings you closer to your goals?
Answering this question is already your first step towards acceptance and change.
How can we grow if we don’t fail?
When I was in my 20s I moved abroad and started working in the big corporate world. There I was taught that failing meant escalation to higher management. Failing meant losing money. Failing meant not being smart enough. Failing meant not fitting in the picture other people have in mind. Failing meant people not liking you.
Can you blame me that I was SO scared to make a mistake? Can you blame me for wanting things to be perfect ALL. THE. TIME.?
Make the shift happen
Over the past years, my perspective on failure has completely transformed. I’ve re-wired my brain to see failure as a necessary part of my growth. By consciously acknowledging my failures, I became more aware of my blind spots.
Did this shift happen overnight? Absolutely! It was super easy…….. said no one ever.
It was a long process and with the right coaching and people in my environment, I managed to overcome my obstacles.
Here’s how I did it:
Shifted my mindset: With the help of 1:1 coaching, I changed my perspective on failing
Let go of perfectionism: Again, 1:1 coaching helped me to release the need for perfection
Learned to ask for feedback: I sought continuous feedback from people who know me well – colleagues, clients, friends, and family in helping me uncover my blindspots
Asked for help: We’re all in it together. Find the people in your environment that you can rely on.
Kept a ‘failures and lessons learned’ journal: I track my failures and the lessons they taught me in my notes app
Recognized progress: I noticed in my daily life that my failures were actually helping me move forward instead of me not moving at all.
Laughed about it: Pour yourself a glass of your favourite drink, put on some music and hang out with your friends. Share your failures with each other and LAUGH about it!
With a conscious effort and the right support, you can reshift your mindset and start seeing failure as a stepping stone to growth and success!
Embrace the messiness of life
By making failure a necessary part of my journey, but not the outcome of the process, I've unlocked a sense of freedom, happiness, and growth that I hadn't experienced before. It's a liberating approach that allows me to let go of perfectionism and embrace the messiness of life.
When we openly accept and acknowledge our failures, we remove the stigma and fear associated with them. This mindset shift can transform how we approach challenges, turning obstacles into opportunities for improvement.
Share share share! By sharing our experiences of failure, we also create a more supportive and understanding environment. It encourages others to take risks and innovate without the paralyzing fear of making mistakes.
My message to you
As I keep enjoying the ride of this rollercoaster called life, I truly believe that failure isn’t just an option—it’s a must for growth and moving forward. When we change how we see failure, we break free from fear and the pressure to be perfect, making room for more freedom, acceptance and joy.
Here’s my message to you:
Embrace failure with open arms.
Dare to learn more about yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Ask for help.
Laugh about it.
Embrace the messiness of life.
2 Self-reflection questions for you:
How do I currently react to failure? Reflect on your immediate emotional response when things don’t go as planned. Do you tend to feel discouraged, ashamed, or frustrated? How might embracing failure as a growth opportunity change your reaction?
Which baby step can I take to accept my failures as a necessary part of my life?
Feel free to share your story and answers in the comments (only if you feel comfortable, of course!).
You can also e-mail me if you’d like to share your story or questions with me: hello@stevannevandervelden.com.
With love,
Stevanne
