Alone but not Lonely: The Transformative Power of Solo Travel
Disclaimer: with solo travel I mean any activity you do alone
Being alone but not lonely
I believe—and live by—the idea that solo traveling can teach you more about yourself than any training out there. This doesn't mean you need to hop on a plane to Bali or Thailand, or have lots of money.
Solo travel is as simple as enjoying a coffee by yourself in your hometown or going to a museum to enjoy some art. It's about being alone but not lonely, because you're in the company of the one person you’re stuck with forever: yourself.
I am not saying that you shouldn’t travel with friends and family. I cherish and love these trips with my whole heart! However, coordinating schedules can be complicated, that is why I take matters into my own hands.
If not now, when?
Start small
I started small:
Going to a museum alone turned into having coffee by myself ➡️That coffee turned into lunch ➡️ That lunch turned into dinner ➡️ That dinner turned into a day trip ➡️That day trip turned into a weekend trip in Europe ➡️That weekend trip turned into a 3-week trip overseas.
It’s a process of feeling uncomfortable, awkward, growing and feeling extremely confident. 🔄
One of my solo trips was to Venice, Italy, and I was filled with anxiety. All that water, all those boats... why on earth didn't I choose a place on solid ground? But I went through with it (after having asked myself 100 x WHYYY??). What happened afterwards was absolutely incredible. I got a massive confidence boost and 3 boats in, it felt like the most normal thing ever. Was this the thing I was stressing about the whole time?
I believe that solo traveling is the best tool for self-growth.
You will:
Discover and trust yourself
Boost your confidence
Embrace independence
Feel less stressed
Learn to be vulnerable
Make your dreams come alive
Meet new people and cultures
7 simple tips on how to make solo-travel easy:
Gut Days Only:
Go from I MUST do this, to I WANT to do this by listening to your gut-feeling and ask yourself questions, such as:
Do I really want to go shopping or is it something I am used to doing?
Do I really want to climb the Eiffel tower, or is this expected from me?
Do I want to eat at a restaurant or rather take food to-go and watch Netflix in bed?
Let your intuition guide you. You are IN CONTROL. You have the power to make it a gut day.
Example:I LOOOOVE foreign supermarkets and I enjoy eating something new from there sometimes even more than eating at a restaurant. (This also includes my craft dinner pictured below LOL - this is a judgement free zone, OK?).
Conclusion: I will not let myself be influenced by external factors (influencers, instagram, society) to make decisions for me.
Decide if you want to meet new people:
I am an introvert-extravert and I tend to get overstimulated really quickly. That is also why I don’t stay at hostels. Sometimes I prefer to make 0 contact with people and other times I am open to connect with others. Of course, you will never fully have control over who you will meet, but if you already set the right mindset, you will avoid the pressure of ‘‘needing’’ to make new connections. This goes hand in hand with the art of saying no and setting boundaries.
Example: I went to a 3-day retreat, with group activities included, and I made the conscious decision to not participate in the group activities, as I just wanted ME-time.
Conclusion: I will not let myself be pushed into a direction I feel is socially accepted. I will set the right mindset and I only do what feels right to ME. Selfcare is not selfish.
Make friends with your inner critic:
If I am in the mood for connecting with other people, I book group excursions. Till this day I have connections with people all over the world. How unique is it that you experienced an amazing adventures with strangers in a foreign country? (Remember: always trust your intuition, share your location with loved ones and stick with the group!).
Example: I wanted to visit the Prosecco region to see the whole process of prosecco making (and of course drink delicious bubbles). I booked a full-day Prosecco Tasting excursion and was joined by 2 other couples. I thought: ‘‘ THIS IS AWKWARD!’’ and wanted to run away. But then I reminded myself that I am here for ME, visiting a region I ALWAYS wanted to visit. If I would’ve let the awkwardness or ‘‘shame’’ stop me, I would’ve never gained such an amazing experience.
Tips: GetYourGuide or AirBnB are great apps to book activities (Not sponsored, unfortunately). Low budget? Try free walking tours, almost every city has one.
Conclusion: I will not let the judgement of other people, but mostly my inner critic, sabotage my happiness and dreams.
Google Maps as your Hypeperson
People that know me, know that I have an obsession with Google maps. Familiarizing yourself before going somewhere new is a MASSIVE game changer for me and my confidence. You are setting yourself up for success. This also works if you want to be spontaneous and don’t like having a plan: familiarizing yourself with the ENVIRONMENT is what does the trick!
Example:
What is the parking situation? Is parking free? Which app do I need to pay parking costs?
How does the public transport system work? Where can I buy a ticket?
Where is the entrance of the restaurant and what is the menu?
Conclusion: Preparation will set you up for success from the get-go and Google Maps is your hypeperson to make you feel confident!
Free (Walking) Tours
Besides (mentally) preparing in Google Maps, I also book free walking tours. My personal preference is an off the beaten track tour, as you will get to see MORE than just the usual highlights. You will get to know the city in a very relaxed, and accessible way, including the unwritten rules, nice areas, fun bars and local restaurants. And you will receive tips & tricks from the tour guide, which can also take away some of your concerns or questions.
Pretend that you LIVE there
Are you familiar with the power pose? Well let me introduce you to the I-AM-FROM-HERE pose. I walk around in foreign places like I have been living there for YEARS. Who? Me? Yeah, I’m an expat and have been working here for 2 years now. Lol. Make up your own story in your head. It’s fun and helps with feeling awkward and lost, I promise you! (even when I am feeling my most vulnerable, the ‘‘I-am-from-here’’ pose does the trick). It all comes back to #4 which is to familiarize yourself before visiting a place. Even when you get lost, you KNOW how the country or city operates, because you’ve done your research. 🔬
Tip: Download offline maps, have a portable charger with you and a data plan. If not, go inside a hotel and ask for directions/help or connect to their wifi. I always go inside hotels, as I know that they will definitely help me and guide me into the right direction.
Bonus tip: Watch youtube videos beforehand of travel vloggers or locals to get familiar with the ‘unwritten rules’ of the place you’re visiting.
No one cares
Yep, you read that right and I hate to break this to you but no one cares. Think about it: people are in their own heads and focusing on their own things. If you are worried or feeling awkward because you’re alone, just ask yourself: ‘‘Who cares?’’ The answer is: YOU. YOU care what other people think about you, while other people are thinking about what to have for dinner, what their manager thought of their presentation and how they envy you for doing things alone.
And if people ‘judge’ you for being alone, well that is the best compliment you can get, because they want what you are having!
Stevanne, are you ALWAYS feeling confident doing things alone?
The truth is: NO!!! The other day I wanted to eat a ‘‘patatje met’’ (Google it ;)) in my hometown, but I suddenly felt so self-conscious about eating alone. I texted my mom for moral support lol. Solo traveling is a journey from comfort to growth through fear and learning.
Doing things alone does not mean that you need to figure it out alone.
We all need a little push every now and then.
